01 Januari 2017 (06.43)

Happy new year guys!

Selamat tahun baru. Semangat menjalani hari lagi selama 365 hari.

Well, gue juga gak tau harus memiliki semangat seperti apa lagi? Gue udh kehilangan semangat gue hampir dua tahun ini dan itu karena lelaki itu.

Move on? Sepertinya gue gagal dengan itu. Hahaha.

Semangat menyongsong hari baru, nyatanya gue tidak sesemangat itu. Merancang masa depan, entah sejak kapan gue berhenti mengkhayalkan dan memimpikan masa depan. Menyelesaikan apa yang harus gue selesaikan, entah kapan harus selesai.

Selama ini gue hanya berlari dan terus berlari. Berlari menghindar bahkan cenderung bersembunyi di balik semua kesibukan gue. Keluar dari persembunyian tapi gue siap dengan topeng yang telah disiapkan. Topeng yang mengisyaratkan semangat dan bahagia. Nyatanya, gue gak sebahagia itu.

Banyak yang bilang, bahagia itu datangnya dari diri sendiri. Sejujurnya gue lelah..

Tuhan pasti benci gue dengan sikap gue yang seperti ini. Tapi terima kasih Tuhan Engkau masih memegang aku, memeluk aku bersamaMu.

Read More

deshitong

Share Tweet Pin It +1

0 Comments

I BELIEVE IN LOVE

I believe you're there for me

I believe it's true

I believe it's for me to decide

I believe it's faith that you see

Lust upon the eyes of hopes and dreams

It must be true for me

Believe me, what you see is true

Cause baby you're for me

I believe your there for me

I believe it's true

I believe it's for me to decide

I believe it's faith that you see

Hopes and dreams of love to come

Though I believe it's true

Nor the lies that you put my through

I'm here to stay for you

I believe that I'm falling for you

I believe that it's here again

I believe it's true

I can only hope that you love me too

Read More

deshitong

Share Tweet Pin It +1

0 Comments

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Believe in yourself and you can achieve,

Things you never thought possible.

Believe in yourself and you can discover,

New talents hidden inside you.

Believe in yourself and you can reach,

The hardest of all situations.

Believe in yourself and you can elucidate,

The problem that defy every solution.

Believe in yourself and you can enjoy,

The beauty of the nature creation.

Believe in yourself and you can learn,

Skill of gaining knowledge from experience.

Believe in yourself and you can discern,

New depths in your life.

Believe in yourself and you can perform,

Way beyond your expectations.

Believe in your aim and work towards it,

With elation, determination and dedication.

Believe in yourself and you'll feel blessed,

As you are the God's special creation

Read More

deshitong

Share Tweet Pin It +1

0 Comments

I AM ME!!!

I'm happy to be me.

I'm not perfect but

I'm honest, loving and happy.

I never tried 

anything that I'm not 

and I'm not here to

impress anyone else.

I AM ME!!

Read More

deshitong

Share Tweet Pin It +1

0 Comments

Quotes

• -          Born in winter. This beautiful you. Clean like snow. You who belong to me. Born in winter. My lover. Clear as snow. You who belongs to me. Regardless whether its spring, summer, autumn or winter. Always clear and clean.

• -          Somehow because stubbornness is the excuse used by the loser. Stubbornness is really very tiring. It looks ugly too.

• -          Your hands make me sad. Seize the moment. Rough fingers, very unpleasant. Cold and motionless hand Warm passion the happiness it brings. In the clothes seam the wind passess through. Days and nights being soaked with sweat. If given the chance to be reborn. I will still only love you.

• -          I thought you’d die because of me.

• -          When the victory isn’t applauded by their friends. At times when their friends are happy and they can’t even smile. Their heart has already become empty.

• -          Even if everyone else thinks it was me, can’t you believe in me? Can’t you be by my side? Can’t you just believe me like this?

• -          I felt that nobody ever cared for me in this world. Thus I turned like this.

• -          Don’t leave me. You are the one who left.

• -          No matter what troubles I find or what I say, I will take care of it myself. You must not interfere. Also don’t help out.

• -          That kid always want to run away. Ran too far already. I have not seen. What can we do at this time?

• -          Some people live to snatch the dreams of others away. And some people say that they don’t have dreams.

• -          I believe I chose the right girl / boy. I rush towards the sky. As long as I can rush into your arms. Even if it means I’ll die, it doesn’t matter. Even if I need to go near the sun, it’s okay. Even if both my legs melt.

• -          Why do I keep thinking of only you when I turn around? I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to stop. No matter how many times I try to comfort myself, it’s no use. My heart is broken, why? Why do I keep doing such foolish things?

• -          It’s clear in my head, but why isn’t my heart listening?

• -          Listen to my heartbeat. It’s beating for you. Listen to my heartbeat. It’s waiting for you.

• -          It still hurts thinking about you.

• -          You’re talking about love. But I make no sense. Real love is between two people’s feelings.

• -          Some people collect dreams. While some people share dreams.

• -          Although we may say that we are right, although we think that our dreams is right.

• -          Who am I? Am I dreaming of tomorrow? Who am I? You can’t not know your dream right?

• -          When I first met you, I wsn’t anle to move my body.

• -          There are so many personalities in this world.

• -          Some people treasure their dreams, some people share their dreams, others chase their dreams and reality. Some forget their dreams, some snatch other people’s dream, others don’t have dreams at all. There are so many people in this world and in a world with so many personalities. Although all say they are correct. Although they all say dreams are like that. Other people actively pursue their dreams. Some simply forget about their dreams. While others don’t have any dreams. Every night, while I dream of dancing on stage, the audience was screaming, then I open my eyes and I’m back to the dark reality, but I can’t sit just stay idle. In order to fill up my empty soul, I can only keep on practicing. Wipe off the tears. While we work hard, we will learn the meaning of life. Don’t be discouraged. Perservere, be stronger. Love, friends, hope, and dream. Let me prepare well, and allow them to have the strength to stand up again. Lights, camera, action, now! Although we all say that dreams are just dreams, some say I will dream for tomorrow. Some people said that I don’t have a dream, some people said that I dream of tomorrow.

• -          Cold hearted. Not sensitive of other people’s feelings. All these have changed a bit for the better. You are back. I am not so sure too. My heart is feeling full of love. When did it all start? Coming back from home? Looking at the appearance and thinking of you. I knew I had feelings for you. Maybe you’re the one! Maybe, perhaps. Perhaps, you are the one that I am waiting for as my other half. Maybe it is true. Maybe I am too close to you. I guess you don’t know that. Baby I’m in love with you. I hope it is not too late. By accepting me now, I can only see my heart clearly. Although I see it clearly at the last moment, at least I can see it clearly. That these feelings won’t waver.

• -          Do you remember that I once said, that our dreams are always aout of our reach and we will never be able to catch them? However, I can see it very clearly now. My dream is real. It is very beautiful. It’s so beautiful that it’s driving me crazy. I am looking forward to the day I can realize that dream. And also the process of accomplishing that dream has been very enjoyable.

• -          We have decided to walk to the end together. Even if you want to be together with me.

• -          Listening to my best friend say such things to me, I definitely woke up immediately.

• -          I also hope that the wish will one dy come true.

• -          I do like you, but I don’t think I feel the same as you do. At least I understand your confusion. If I leave without answering it directly, it’s a bit impolite, right?

• -          I’m easily infatuated, based on my own imagination.

• -          It’s nice for when you pretend you can’t hear people and don’t care what they say. And it’s also nice when you can pretend to be friends with someone you’re not friends with.

• -          I know what happens after this. It should be our turn to win.

• -          This drama series is far from over, so don’t worry about taking things slowly. Compared to those who walk fast, the ones that walk slow. Are able to see more things much clearer.

-           

Read More

deshitong

Share Tweet Pin It +1

0 Comments

Jangan Tanyakan Lagi

Di perpisahan dulu, udah aku bilang kan jangan pernah kamu tanyakan lagi, apa yang pernah aku rasakan dulu. Jangan pernah kamu coba tanyakan rasa itu masih ada atau tidak. Karena satu jawaban dari aku, “Rasa itu telah mati, dan anggap saja tidak pernah ada”.

Bukankah dulu, sangat jelas aku berbicara. Saat aku bilang suka dan sayang padamu. Tapi aku mendengar pernyataan yang berbeda dari kamu padahal dulu aku kira kamu memiliki perasaan yang sama. Aku tertipu saat itu oleh perhatian lebih yang kamu berikan kepadaku. Dan saat itu juga aku langsung berkata “Anggaplah aku tidak pernah berbicara seperti ini, dan bila suatu saat nanti kita bertemu lagi jangan pernah kau tanyakan rasa yang pernah aku rasakan padamu.”

Enam bulan setelah kejadian itu, kita bertemu lagi. Saat itu jujur aku, masih memendam rasa padamu. Aku masih memiliki rasa yang sama, sebelum kamu keluar dari sekolah. Aku masih memendamnya. Dan kamu ingat, saat itu di tempat perkemahan itu, di antara gunung-gunung itu, aku melihat tatapan yang berbeda darimu yang membuat aku jatuh lebih dalam lagi. Tapi, kamu tidak sedikit pun membahas kejadian itu. Mungkin kamu yang terlalu kukuh menjaga janji yang pernah terucap sebelumnya.

Setelah itu, semua menghilang. Aku terus melanjutkan kehidupanku. Dan kau pun terus melanjutkan kehidupanmu. Aku butuh waktu yang sangat lama untuk menghilangkan bayanganmu. Lama sekali, sampai ada saat itu aku memiliki pria lain yang menyayangi aku, tapi aku tidak bisa berhenti memikirkanmu. Sampai pada saat, aku bertemu denganmu secara tidak sengaja. Aku yang sedang bersama lelakiku dan kamu yang sedang bersama wanitamu. Tapi, aku tidak peduli pada saat itu aku sedang bersama siapa dan kamu sedang bersama siapa. Yang aku tau, pada saat itu aku senang bertemu denganmu. Dan kamu tahu tidak lama dari pertemuan itu aku putus dengan lelakiku.

Butuh waktu, bertahun-tahun untuk melupakan kamu. Dan saat ini, yah aku yakin saat ini. Aku sudah bisa melupakan bayanganmu. Tidak ada lagi kenangan yang selalu hadir di dalam ingatanku. Semuanya sudah lenyap. Aku butuh waktu kurang lebih tiga tahun untuk melupakan dirimu. Kamu tahu aku telah menemukan seseorang yang baik dan menyayangiku. Dan aku yakin dengan dirinya.

Tiga tahun bukan waktu yang singkat. Tiga tahun waktu yang sangat cukup buat aku menutup semua cerita lama dan membuat sebuah cerita baru. Setelah tiga tahun lebih itu, kita baru bertemu lagi minggu kemarin. Dan aku tidak menyangka kau menanyakan perasaan dulu yang aku punya. Aku tidak mengerti, padahal aku menganggap kamu pemegang janji yang kukuh. Tapi, kamu tahu aku tidak ragu menjawabnya saat kamu bertanya lagi. Aku tidak galau mendengar pertanyaan itu. Aku yakin dengan berkata “Perasaan itu udah gak ada, sekarang udah ada orang lain yang ngisi, dan aku sayang banget sama orang itu”. Maafkan aku, pertemuan itu memang aku harapkan. Aku hanya ingin menyelesaikan apa yang belum selesai. Aku hanya ingin hatiku tenang dan berdamai dengan masa lalu, berdamai dengan diri sendiri dan berdamai dengan kamu.
Dan untuk orang yang aku sayang sekarang. Kamu jangan mikir macem-macem yah. Karena hatiku hanya untuk kamu. Dan kamu tahu aku sayang banget sama kamu. Kamu tahu semua yang aku tulis itu hanya sebagian masa lalu yang ingin aku lupakan.

~ deshitong ~

Read More

deshitong

Share Tweet Pin It +1

0 Comments